I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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