Don't you send me to vm
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
