I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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