They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
