The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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