your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize