My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
