She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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