I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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