Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
