Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize