Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
