yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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