All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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