I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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