I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
