We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize