I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
