So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
