i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
