just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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