Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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