Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
