I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
