also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
