I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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