I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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