so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Text me some of your sweat
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
