She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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