we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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