His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
