After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
