he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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