I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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