he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
