whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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