Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
