I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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