Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
