He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
