We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
