She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
