my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
