this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you never un-have a 4some
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
