ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
you never un-have a 4some
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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