Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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