At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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