Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
