I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
