i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
