question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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