Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
