Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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