she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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