LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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