big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
