Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
