I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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