I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
