We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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