when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
